So James Ryan made his appearance on Thursday, January 27, 2011 at 9:08pm after an hour of pushing. It didn't seem that long, though. 8lbs 8 oz and 21 inches long! Observations that I remember:
- I thought my eyeballs were going to pop out and my teeth were going to shatter.
- Mom said she'd never seen me get so red in the face.
- The hour before I started pushing was the longest in my life.
- I missed the episode of The Office with Ricky Garvis.
- Dr. Melton said I was a real trooper.
- He also said that JR was a 'juicy baby'; meaning he had fluid in his lungs.
- The epidural was wonderful; I don't think I could have done it without it...seriously!
- I felt a HUGE relief after delivering the baby and the placenta (which was sorta cool btw).
- It seemed to take forever for the Dr. and intern? to stitch up my tearing.
- Dr. Melton asked if I had DB = dead butt; this was to see if I could lift myself up with my legs. I did not have DB. LOL!
All in all the experience was totally amazing. Jason cut the umbilical cord and did a great job encouraging me. Mom was there too. So was my Dad. (He had to stay waaaay behind me, though!)
Staying at the hospital was tough. I wanted to come home but you have to stay there for 24 hours after delivery. We stayed longer just because JR was born so late at night.
I had every intention on breastfeeding JR but it didn't work out. I had everything too. Lanolin, breast pump (for going back to work), nursing pads, storage bags for extra milk...everything! I didn't think JR had a problem with latching on at first but I just don't think I was producing enough. He's very demanding. I know that the milk takes time to come in but we had to supplement his 'feeding' while in the hospital. It devestated me. Here I am ready to be supermom and I can't even feed my child like I thought I would be able to. This equals lots of crying and guilt. For two weeks it was like that. I admit I was really depressed. I'm sure I was freaking out Jason. Thank goodness my Mom was there for over a week. She really helped us out in soooo many ways. Thank you MOM! After Mom left, I thought the feedings were getting better but JR was latching on wrong and I couldn't get him to correct it. I still had to supplement. (That was a trial and error thing...I couldn't figure out why he was crying so much after he breastfed!!) Again the guilt. I talked to some friends who encouraged me to go either way and to remind me that even if JR's bottlefed he will be ok. I was bottlefed and I'm ok! :)
Making the decision to stop was really really hard. But I did and now we are much happier and I'm enjoying being a mommy a whole lot more!!! I haven't cried once since we started bottle feeding!!! Thanks to those for all the encouragement and support!! I will definitely try breastfeeding the next addition (whenever that will be) but I will not put so much pressure on myself like I did this time to be supermom. I will leave that to my sister-in-law, Mandy, who is truly a SUPER MOM!!! BTW, we went to the doctor to get him weighed yesterday and he's already 10lbs. :D
JR and I have been getting out of the house, which has been great! I have even left him alone with Jason, our future daycare ladies and the nursery at church! I want my son to love me and run to me when he needs me (or not) but I don't want to be a hovering momma who can't let go!
What else...the dogs have been great. It was dicey at first. I think they saw JR as a squeaky toy and came to investigate every time he made a sound. Now that they have his many scents XD; they love him and even lay down or leave the room when he starts to cry. They are very sweet to him.
And the adventure continues.....!!!! Will try to update every once in a while!!!
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