Wednesday, April 15, 2009

And the Countdown Begins...

...until summer break? or to insanity?

Author's note: Don't read too much into this...these are just thoughts that need to come out. Nothing to be worried about... it's life, it happens.

We are on the downhill slide as far as school is concerned and I have nothing to write about. Yeah, the house...whoopie... it's still not finalized yet. I feel like pulling my hair out. Nothing is being done. What needs to be done? I feel all the weight on me...for some reason. No one is saying anything about it.

I feel like crying for some reason...don't know why...I'm blessed with everything I need.

I feel very fat and unattractive... no one is interested in this fact...everyone else feels this way, right?

I need to study for this stupid test I'm supposed to take on Saturday.

I keep forgetting to pay a bill...it's not much money but I can't get home in time to run it to the office.

I, I, I, me, me, me...I feel selfish.

I think people are stupid sometimes...they like to complain about everything and then offer no solutions to the problem.

What's up with the pirate thing out of Somalia? I can think of a few things to fix that! non-negotiable.

I got to see my family last weekend and watch my brother take a new life journey. Yay, Pat!! I love my family!

It's hard for me to do anything once I get home...literally...I want to do nothing...that's why I'm fat.

I don't have a "hormonal imbalance" right now...

I have no girlfriends my age here.

I'm lazy.

I'm the problem.

I have to be the solution.

I am normal.

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I'm probably depressed. I teach psychology, I should know. The worst thing is that I know I am and can't seem to want to get out of it. I mean I do, but don't...does that make sense? It seems like too much work. Why am I depressed? I need to find out so I can work out the issues...did I just teach on this today? Yes. Practice what I teach? Writing about it helps...I can reread it and try to look at it from another perspective.

I could say I'm depressed because:
  • Pat's being deployed again
  • the state of our youth is deplorable because their parents are deplorable...
  • economy sucks and so does my investments
  • I'm depressed...wow...how depressing!
So the psychological thing to do is turn those things around:
  • Pat is being deployed to a now safer Iraq?
  • Not all the youth are corrupt but are exemplary...I should know...some of them are in my classes.
  • I'm a history teacher, the economy will turn around again...it always does.
  • Hmmm....depressed because I'm depressed...don't see how I can make that positive!
"How do you feel now?"...Sigmund Freud would ask..."better," I would reply.