Utterly Alone

Well, that's the way I feel. I know it's not the truth. But knowing one thing and feeling the opposite seems to go hand in hand. It seems that my closest friends are drifting away. And that's not really it, it's just that most of them are preoccupied with other people, namely their significant others. I know I can still talk to them but only when their time permits. I don't blame them at all and I am happy for them.

I do know, however, that God is there just waiting for me to talk to Him. He's my ultimate friend and it was ironic this morning when I thought to myself, "He can't make me feel unlonely." Of course He can!!! He is the provider of all things. I just take it for granted that He's always there, always waiting on me. I want everything right now without having to do anything. It's up to me to get out of bed and ask for His strength. OR it's up to me to ask Him to give me the strength to get out of bed.

See, I know what to do...sometimes I just don't want to do it. I think that's how it is for most everybody. It's not a generalization. We are of a society that tells us we can do it on our own and don't need anybody to help us. That's a LIE! We are built to be social people and to be dependant on others. So, as my mom always said, to have a friend, be a friend. Goodness, I hated that saying, but I understand. I can't wait for it to just fall in my lap. If I don't want to work or sacrifice myself for others, I shouldn't expect others do the same for me.

I'm tired of not wanting to get out of bed and being on the verge of tears. God give me the strength to make it one more day out here! Help me be a friend to others even when I don't feel like I have any!

Anyway, this soliloquy has gone on long enough. I'm off to be a friend to someone!