Dwight's Speech

Yesterday and today has been fairly crappy. So I needed to watch something funny at lunch today. Something that makes me laugh and therefore makes me feel better is the epsiode of The Office called Dwight's Speech. Dwight is awarded Dunder-Mifflin Salesman of the Year and must make a speech at a big convention. This is his speech. (Must be read in an angry voice and look insane).

(Slam, slam, slam!) "Blood alone moves the wheels of history! Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation which everyone finds during the day, how long we've been striving for greatness? (Slam!) Not only the years we've been at war, the war of work. But from the moment as a child when we realize that the world can be conquered. It has been a life time struggle (Slam!), a never ending fight, I say to you (Slam!), and you will understand that it is a privilege to fight (light applause)! We are warriors (moderate applause)!! Salesmen of north-eastern Pennsylvania I ask you, once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour!"

Dwight laughs maniacally with the now roaring applause from the audience as Michael gets up from his seat in the audience and begins to walk out of the auditorium. It is not clear if Dwight is laughing at Michael or if he is just caught in the moment.

"No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend (Slam!) itself (applause)!"

The following scenes show Michael walking through the hallways of the hotel, Creed changing the office thermostat (which Oscar notices), Dwight speaking with dictator-like hand and arm movements emphasizing his words, and Michael having a second drink at the hotel bar, all while we hear Dwight's speech.

"Some people will tell you "salesman" is a bad word, they'll conjure up images of used car dealers and door-to-door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, salesmen, and women, of the world, unite. (random, misplaced applause)! We must never acquiesce, for it is together, together (with the audience) that we prevail! We must never cede control of the motherland for it is (with the audience again) together that we prevail!!"

Dwight holds his award up to the roaring applause from the audience and slams his fist on the podium six times.